Gratitude: The quality of being thankful
Be ready to show appreciation for and to return kindness
As we enter November, a month known for gratitude, the request is that we go to a space of thankfulness. We look around ourselves and identify the areas in our lives that we are appreciative for despite the “not so good” things happening around us. While there is great benefit in recognizing the things in our lives that we should be grateful for -- family, friends, employment, and life -- there also must be reflection upon areas in our lives that we leave unattended and do not show appreciation for such as, our wellness, our values, and our overall life journey. We leave these areas without regard, which in turn creates barriers for gratitude.
Let’s be honest, it is a challenge to even think of being grateful for even the smallest gifts when our lives are being shifted and challenged every day. When our personal wellness is left unattended, or we can’t see past our status quo, gratitude and kindness may seem out of reach.
This brings attention to the cycle of a “BOTH AND” lifestyle. While you can be grateful for the benefits and gifts in life, you can also feel conflicted with the emotions surrounding both. In my practice with clients, this dynamic comes from a shortage in attention paid to their wellness.
As a socialized community we struggle to navigate and accept complex paradox. For example:
- I love my job, however I am in a constant state of anxiety due to deadlines that are out of reach.
- I love my friends, however boundaries are often crossed affecting my mental well-being.
- I love my children, however parenting comes with challenges I am not prepared for and I am losing sight of who I am.
As we go into this season of thankfulness, my challenge to you is to give yourself permission this season to explore how you can continue to grow on your wellness journey and lean into the areas in your life that are not currently being appreciated and explore WHY. Here are some questions to consider:
How to increase self-appreciation
- Values
How are your values showing up in our in your daily interactions with yourself and others? How do you live a life highlighting your values? What attention do you want to place on your values that you have been neglecting? - Mindfulness
What some of the positive feelings you are absorbing or what are emotions do you need to shed? What positive thoughts holds your attention? What negative thoughts hold your attention? - Accept Your Thoughts
Instead of resisting or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, ACCEPT them. You do not have to like them. Just allow yourself to feel them. Negative thoughts do not need to be controlled, changed, or acted upon. Aim to lessen their power on your behavior. These steps might seem awkward at first. But they will get easier with practice. - Be Kind to Yourself
Do things you enjoy. Start by making a list of things you like to do. Try to do something from that list every day. Spend time with people who make you happy. Do not waste time on people who do not treat you well.
How to reflect on gratitude
- Gratitude makes us healthy.
Gratitude improves our physical health. People who practice gratitude experience fewer aches and pains and they report feeling healthier than other people. This is because grateful people are more likely to take care of their health. They exercise more and take better care of themselves, which contributes to good health. - Gratitude improves psychological health.
Gratitude helps in reducing harmful emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to anger and frustration. According to research, grateful people have higher levels of positive emotion which effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. - Gratitude is good for relationships.
Showing appreciation not only improves existing relationships but can also help you win new friends. One study states that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. Not only does acknowledging other people’s contributions lead to better relationships; it does also lead to new opportunities.
Self-esteem self-help guide: NHS inform
7 Scientifically Proven Benefits of Gratitude: Psychology Today
Jaime Harry
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Wellness Program Liaison
jaime.harry@utsouthwestern.edu
About the Author
Jaime Harry is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Duke Certified Integrated Health and Wellness Coach. Jaime's passion is driven in Diversity Equity and Inclusion and Mental Wellness for all people.
